Her mind is whirring…

Think of those nights when you get into bed and as soon as your head hits the pillow, there’s a veritable list of vitally important tasks that should have been done weeks ago streaming through your head. Think of those nights when you wake with a start, having heard ‘a noise’ in the middle of the night. Your heart is pounding. Your mouth is dry. You are on high alert as you listen for other unusual noises. It takes what feels like lifetime for your heart rate to slow and for your brain to switch […]

My cousin

My cousin is the stuff of legend. My cousin has shaped so much of my life, from being so very young to the present day. I cannot remember life without him being in it. My cousin is loud and funny. My cousin taught me how to be myself. My cousin taught me how to fight injustice. My cousin taught me how to be a better person. My cousin taught me how to love my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. My cousin taught me how to treat other people. My cousin taught me […]

A few of my favourite things

A piping hot cup of strong, milky tea. The feel of the wind racing past when I ride my bike. The sound of my kids laughing. The strong arms of Mr Six around me. Sunshine on my face. That moment every morning when I put my head under a hot shower. Fresh crusty bread, straight from the oven. Stealing away, even for half an hour, with my gorgeous family. The sound of the waves on the beach. Those still moments of intense quiet, when everyone is happy doing something. A good book, telling a great […]

What does she need?

Yesterday was a ‘tricky’ day. I sat drafting this in Little Legs’ bedroom praying that she would drop off soon (she didn’t), reflecting on what she needs right now. We had another tricky hour this morning, despite twelve solid hours sleep from 9pm to 9am. She woke dysregulated and picked up where she left off. I can’t quite get to the bottom of whats unsettling her. But that’s ok. I don’t need to know for now. I would like to know! But I don’t need to know. What I need to know is what does she […]

Not quite ‘There’. Yet.

An awesome adopter friend wrote this beautiful and insightful post this week, about why our kids find it hard to relax and feel safe. No matter how often we reassure them and verbalise this in their early days (and years), there will likely be anxiety around loss for years to come. I read her post whilst I was sitting on the landing outside Little Legs’ bedroom door for the second night in a row, as we try to pull back on bedtime shenanigans, after weeks of her struggling to let go and just sleep. That […]

To push the button or leave well alone…

When I was university, I had a friend who swore by Sudocrem. Whenever she got a little spot popping up, she’d whip out the Sudocrem and smear a bit over the affected area to try and soothe it away. I also had another friend who would simply attack a spot at any and every opportunity, trying to squeeze out the bad stuff! Is it better to go with a couple of weeks of soreness without it coming to a head before it fades away? Or to get the bad stuff out at the first available […]

Quiet Time

Today the girls and I have been at home by ourselves for most of the day. It feels most unusual at the moment for this to happen. Life has become increasingly busy of late. Mostly in good ways. Seeing friends. Getting out and about in the sunshine. Running errands. But for today I have really appreciated being at home. And not seeing anyone other than my girls. I don’t think I’ve written about our Quiet Time previously, but it is something that I am fully aware that I talk about a lot and champion muchly! When we […]

Watoto: what a 24 hours!

The Watoto choir arrived on Friday lunchtime and left on Saturday lunchtime. The concert at our church was on Friday evening. Our time with them was brief, but they have left a huge imprint on our hearts. On Friday afternoon when we arrived at church, the choir had not long been there and the kids were generally really shy and quiet. They did some sound checking and their team of Aunties and Uncles were setting up for the evening event. Little Legs stayed very close by me, with her hands over her ears and a look […]

Facing firsts: overnight visitors

This Friday evening our church is hosting the Watoto Children’s Choir. There is much excitement buzzing around and our girls are really looking forward to the concert. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the Watoto choirs, here is a link to their website: www.watoto.com In our wisdom, Mr Six and I spoke to our girls and we decided to offer to host two of the children with a chaperone. The girls were excited. Big Girl had agreed to forego her bedroom. They had seen clips of the choir and were excited to […]

Totally nowt to do with anything. Except me. (reposted)

This last year has started to unearth something in me. Maybe it’s something about the fight that adopting requires. The fight to navigate the process. The fight for your Little One, once you are aware of their existence. The fight to keep your head above water once your Little One comes home. The door is closed and life is supposed to carry on ‘as normal’. What does that even mean?!! The fight to get the best support and care for your Little One. The fight to stay healthy, sane and connected to other people. I […]