Together into the unknown

Fight, flight or freeze…our Little Legs is a proper feisty little monkey! Ever since she came home just over a year ago, Little Legs’ response to a threat, an unknown, a lack of sleep, an emotional experience, has been to fight. Now she isn’t a violent child at all. We get rumbling low level aggression, usually targetted at one of her big sisters, occasionally at me or Mr Six.  Mostly hitting, scratching, hair pulling, some biting. Her go to for expressing her fear is usually raging meltdowns. Screaming, spitting, crying, shouting. Bless her, she often rages […]

Forging family relationships

This last week we had our first direct contact between Little Legs’ Foster Mum and Little Legs. I’ve been chatting with her lots on WhatsApp and sending photos and updates regularly, but there has been no direct contact with Little Legs for the year she has been with us. Rightly or wrongly, we have been feeling our way to find something that feels right. For Little Legs, for our family and for theirs. There is so much advice out there about continuing contact with foster families, initiating contact with birth families, and maintaining relationships with […]

Empathy

Little Legs had her first birthday with our family and it offered us a lesson in empathy. She reached the exciting age of four. She was excited mostly because being four means presents, being allowed to go to our church Kids’ Club, and moving up from her pre-schooler swimming class to a “real” swimming lesson like her sisters.Movie Carol (2015) Her fourth birthday also brought her first real tears that we have been able to attribute to (and name for her as) grief for the loss of her foster carers. No doubt she has grieved […]