What does she need?

Yesterday was a ‘tricky’ day. I sat drafting this in Little Legs’ bedroom praying that she would drop off soon (she didn’t), reflecting on what she needs right now. We had another tricky hour this morning, despite twelve solid hours sleep from 9pm to 9am. She woke dysregulated and picked up where she left off. I can’t quite get to the bottom of whats unsettling her. But that’s ok. I don’t need to know for now. I would like to know! But I don’t need to know. What I need to know is what does she […]

Not quite ‘There’. Yet.

An awesome adopter friend wrote this beautiful and insightful post this week, about why our kids find it hard to relax and feel safe. No matter how often we reassure them and verbalise this in their early days (and years), there will likely be anxiety around loss for years to come. I read her post whilst I was sitting on the landing outside Little Legs’ bedroom door for the second night in a row, as we try to pull back on bedtime shenanigans, after weeks of her struggling to let go and just sleep. That […]

Thankful for friends. And home ed.

We are so blessed to have some amazing friends in our lives. Friends who understand us and love us and who understand about some of the differences between their kids and our Little Legs. Recently we have started attending a home ed group that we used to go to before Little Legs came home. This particular group of our some of our closest friends shares not only home education as common ground, but also our faith perspective. At the last get together a few weeks ago, we had a wonderful few hours of chatting, drinking brews and watching […]

Facing firsts: overnight visitors

This Friday evening our church is hosting the Watoto Children’s Choir. There is much excitement buzzing around and our girls are really looking forward to the concert. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the Watoto choirs, here is a link to their website: www.watoto.com In our wisdom, Mr Six and I spoke to our girls and we decided to offer to host two of the children with a chaperone. The girls were excited. Big Girl had agreed to forego her bedroom. They had seen clips of the choir and were excited to […]

Marking their territory

This morning I had to talk to our youngest two about ‘marking their territory’. I used the imagery of how cats and dogs frequently wee when they’re outside because they use their urine to mark their territory, to let other cats and dogs know that this is their turf. Mr Six and I have been discussing these behaviours this last few days, as we have noticed distinctly territorial behaviours happening. Mr Six teases me about comparing them to animal behaviours (which I understand), but they help me to understand and call out for myself what […]

Splitting

“Mummy, why does Little Legs want to be so mean to me and try to tear Happy Dreamer and my bestest cousin away from me all the time?” Yesterday afternoon Mr Six and I had our first PAS session. Time with our new PAS SW, who will hereafter be known as ‘The Play Lady’. Last night we had put Little Legs to bed and were talking to the big three about the PAS sessions that will be coming up. We revisited why and how Little Legs had come home to be part of our family. […]

Mummy’s solo outing

On Monday this week I went out for the day. By myself. Totally without company. Sans enfants! A few weeks ago, Mr Six had suggested that he have the girls for the day one Monday, so that I could go out and have some time to myself. As we home educate, that doesn’t happen very often. It can get complicated enough going to an essential appointment unaccompanied (doctor, dentist, etc) when you are home every day with four children! But Mr Six was keen for me to have some alone time. Some head space. A bit of time […]

Sisters

We’ve been blogging for about eight months now. We blog about our family life, our adoption journey, our faith and our church family, home educating our girls and other parenting bits and pieces that may come along. During those eight months we have had frequent conversations, both before and since starting the blog, about what is off limits, what we wouldn’t or shouldn’t write about, how the girls might feel about the blog as they grow older and both they and their friends have access to the internet. This post is the kind of post that we […]

The need for support and understanding

A couple of weeks ago, Little Legs was under the weather and subsequently came out with some blisters, which I blogged about last week. So it may have been feeling under the weather that started it. Or it might not. As with much of this Trauma stuff, we never know what she’s trying to process. Or what’s playing on her mind. Or what she’s emotionally sorting through at any one time.Trik Android But right at this moment, she’s a sad, angry, frustrated and confused little girl. And then she’s sweet and gorgeous and happy. Singing […]

What’s in a name

Little Legs had lived with her foster family for practically all her life when we met her. She was three and a half years old. I had spoken on the phone to her Foster Mummy a few weeks before intros were due to start and had a lengthy discussion about how much Little Legs knew and understood about her planned adoption. Her Foster Mummy felt that Little Legs didn’t really have much of a grasp on what was about to happen. Her Social Worker hadn’t really done any preparation work with her and there was […]